In my travels across these vast internets, I’ve met a few people with what is often described as “Gender Identity Issues.” Some have said such things like “My real gender and my physical sex do not match.” I know someone is going to accuse me of being horribly insensitive for saying this, but this statement is absurd. Before you go flame me for being a prick, at least read my reasons why, as I do have a few transgender friends and I DO try to be sensitive to both this and other issues.
Our society has various standards of masculinity of and feminity which we attach to various things and concepts, and then expect each gender to fall into pre-defined archetypes. Football is manly; cheerleading is girl. G.I. Joe is manly; Barbie is girly. Beer is manly; hard fruit drunks are girly. This is idiotic. Most of the gender expectations we have are arbitrary and/or anachronistic social constructs. Pissing while standing up is masculine. Giving birth to babies is feminine unless you’re in that one movie. The rest is just made up.
Granted, some trends show up more in one common gender than the other, but being an exception hardly makes you weird. A sensitive who cries when Bambi’s mother dies is no less a man than the big rugged football player, and the muscular body building woman who loves beer and steak and driving her SUV is no less womanly than the cute petite girl in pink skirts. If any of those stereotypes I just made annoyed you: good. Then I’m not the only one who thinks they’re absurd.
What especially annoys me is when gender affinity is applied to styles of dress. Other than a few articles of clothing designed with anatomical concerns in mind (ie, bras) who cares if something is for men or women? A guy who wears dresses isn’t a “girly man” or a “girl trapped in a guy’s body.” He’s just a guy who likes to wear dresses and there’s nothing wrong with that.
So the next time you or someone you know feels the onset of a “gender identity” problem: ask why. Why is this a problem? Don’t feel bad because you like sweet romance movies but you swing a sword below the belt (credit to Icewind Dale for the best euphemism for being male ever) or because you like action hero explosion shooters and you don’t. Buy your son the Barbie doll he wants and get your daughter the toy tank. Drink what you like to drink, not what you think your gender is expected to. Drive the car you like the most (and that has the best gas mileage). Be who you feel like being (within reasonable, legal limits), not who society tells you that someone of your age and gender should be, because few things are as bad as denying who we are or forcing ourselves to be someone else to conform to what the rest of the world arbitrarily expects us to be.
Unless, of course, you just hate your penis/vagina and want to see what it’s like to have the other one. Then I’ve got nothing for you.
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